I went to the SFX scifi convention today. Never have I been so weirded out by little girls. The things I saw…that’s just not right! 
I did stand within 1 metre (that’s as close as I get to human contact) of Troi (if she really was an empath, I would have gotten slapped), Hoshi Sato (who is smok’n hot. ‘Nuff said), and Lt. Tuvok (who was smiling! WTF! You’re a vulcan! That could kill you!). My Star Trek bone is tingling, by which I mean my white ass. That’s not all that’s tingling though; check out what someone slipped me on my way out (below)! [INSERT COMMENT THAT COULD POSSIBLY GET ME FIRED HERE] and a tub of whipped cream!
P.S. Don’t worry, I got in for free. I wouldn’t pay (Earth) dollars for it 
"Hi Jonathan, Who are you? Let’s meet 
Kim Poirier"