I couldn’t believe what the CBC was reporting today: there are only two Canadian navy ships out at sea!
The navy had earlier said that all but two ships on the East and West Coasts are tied up. HMCS Ottawa is in the Persian Gulf, and HMCS Charlottetown is out performing sea trials.
I call on the international community: please don’t invade us. We’re a kind, clean people with a love of hockey and beer. We also have an abundance of bears and beavers with which to barter 
My sincere thanks, Keebler