Flying United for the first time, I decided to check out the safety card for our plane. The following caught my eye:

"If you are sitting in an exit row please identify yourself to a crewmember to allow for reseating if: You lack the ability to read, speak, or understand the language, or the graphic form, or the ability to understand oral crew commands in the language specified by the airline."

Now let me get this straight: if you can’t understand what the card is telling you to do, you’re supposed to let someone know. Also, if you do understand the card, but you can’t communicate, you’re supposed to let someone know. Ummm…I think I see a problem in their rock-solid logic here