Tonight is the finale of ‘Last Comic Standing’! I know there’s like no chance that Canadian Sean Cullen is going to win, but it’s still good times 
I’ll be liveblogging the whole thing on ScribbleLive and crossposting it here (a new feature we just rolled out). Enjoy!
- 8:16 PM First to perform tonight is Marcus, 1st finalist
- 8:18 PM Marcus Set:
* what you can bring on an airplane
* song lyrics: I thought “lumps” where bad
* I sing along even if I don’t know the lyrics - 8:19 PM Marcus voting number 1-877-FUNNY-01
- 8:21 PM It sounds like even though everyone is performing tonight, only 5 of them are going to be in contention for winning the whole sh-bang
- 8:22 PM
- 8:25 PM Next set…Ron G
- 8:25 PM Ron G Bio: wow, his mom is like the same age
- 8:27 PM Ron G set:
* sick of stupid people, cousin wants to be a thug but he has a retainer (audience is totally quiet)
* originally from the South (he looks nervous), now in LA. Weird going to Church in LA
* TV commercial actors (audience lightly laughing – this is a train wreck), continuing to go on and on about testimonials (all his impressions involve him with accents and eyes wide open)
* sex line commercials (light laughter from the audience) - 8:32 PM Ron G got a standing ovation! wtf! No one was laughing! Maybe there were cattle prods under the seats…
- 8:32 PM Checking if Ron G got enough votes last week to stay in the competition….
- 8:32 PM BRUTAL…Ron G was eliminated from the competition last week! And they still made him perform. Niiiiice
- 8:34 PM So far, Marcus is the only one America can vote for tonight. He’ll probably win because everyone loves impressions….though to be fair, I’ve only heard like 7 voices. “We get it, you can do Christopher Walker. SO CAN EVERYBODY ELSE!”
- 8:36 PM Does this show ‘Chime In’ that they keep advertising remind you of ‘Arrested Development’?
- 8:36 PM Jim Tavere is next….
- 8:36 PM Jim Tavere: lives on a house boat in UK! Cool!
- 8:38 PM Jim Tavere set:
* ‘Hills Have Eyes: The Musical’
* not been easy working in marching band, airport
* I can’t believe it’s not butter
* dog pound
* calling the bank
* Member of London Philharmonic…mailing list
* Johan Strouss during puberty
* immitation of Jimmy Hendrix, tribute (strumming ‘o say can you see’)
* example from Bass repertoire - 8:42 PM Jim Tavere also gets a standing ovation. Is he one of the 5 finalists………
- 8:43 PM YES, he’s one of the top 5 finalists
- 8:43 PM Jim Tavere’s voting number: 1-877-FUNNY-02
- 8:48 PM Bill Bellamy doing a set!
- 8:48 PM Bill Bellamy’s set:
* first Black-guy in Idaho
* waterskiing - 8:51 PM Sneak peek at new series (this is week!)….from the maker of ‘Ice Road Truckers’ and ‘Deadliest Catch’….competition between people to do all these crazy jobs. Starts this Fall. It’s called…’America’s Toughest Job’
- 8:54 PM Trailer for new Ben Stiller comedy: Tropic Thunder (2008)
- 8:56 PM ‘Hereos’ back September 22nd! w00t!
- 8:57 PM Louis Ramey is next….His bio is all about NYC. Zzzzzzzz
- 8:58 PM He’s been a comic since he was a kid. He says you gotta hustle in the clubs. He loves his job.
- 8:59 PM Louis Ramey set list:
* Pennsylvania Amish
* woman stopping applause during one of his shows - 8:59 PM He likes getting paid in cheese!
- 9:00 PM lol @ chromed-out buggies
- 9:00 PM Amish kids got caught selling drugs, next is gangs. Pimped out buggies.
- 9:01 PM Doing a show in New Orleans, lady stands up to remind everyone of the terrorist alert.
- 9:02 PM Audience loves him talking about USA. They have something else no other country has….rednecks. If there’s an invasion, they’ve been waiting for just such an occasion since 1775
- 9:02 PM The lady is worried that terrorists will take over the tiny town of Homa.
- 9:04 PM Standing ovation from the audience for Louise Raimie too. Surprise!
- 9:04 PM Louis Ramey is in the top 5! In the top 5 now is Marcus, Jim Tavere, and Louise Raimie
- 9:05 PM Louis Ramey voting line: 1-877-FUNNY-03
- 9:06 PM Ad for Prilosec OTC = worse name for a drug ever
- 9:06 PM SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS 2! YAHH!!!!! OMGMGMGMGMGMMG!
- 9:09 PM And we’re back. The next comic is…..Adam Hunter….who was a wrestler apparently, 4 time state champion. Random
- 9:11 PM Applied same work ethic to wrestling as he did to wrestling. Does it work like that?
- 9:11 PM Adam Hunter set:
* mother did cocaine when she was pregnant with him - 9:11 PM Protesting the olympic torch in San Francisco. You can’t stop the flame in San Francisco.
- 9:12 PM Obama, is america ready for a half black president?
- 9:12 PM Obama: “Blacker than Hilary. 5X as black as McCain”
- 9:13 PM McCain saw passion of the christ live.
- 9:13 PM Car accident last week totally messed up his phone call.
- 9:13 PM Doesn’t smoke pot because he forgets to pick up his food after paying (light applause)
- 9:13 PM Relationship sex: like having an iPod with one song. She got a vibrator, he got Guitar Hero
- 9:15 PM She used to be a slut but now she’s a good girl, he wants a time machine.
- 9:16 PM Would rather have a 40 yo girl than a 20 yo: “GET DOWN AND GET TO WORK!”
- 9:16 PM Is Adam Hunter in the top 5? No! Crowd doesn’t like it.
- 9:17 PM I liked him.
- 9:17 PM I think that was the best set he did on the show, but he was already eliminated
- 9:22 PM Jeff Dye is up next. “A shampoo commercial waiting to happen”. Didn’t know what to do out of college so he is just trying to do what he loves. His parents support him. Bombed his first show and became obsessed with getting better.
- 9:23 PM Double standards in Vegas. Girls are sluts, guys are homosexuals.
- 9:24 PM Shout out to his parents. Dad taught him to never give up, bald head, big beard, half his head gave up the other half says no way. Mom mastered the email forward, cats dressed up like humans.
- 9:24 PM When he’s mad at his mom he texts her “you’re stupid” and she doesn’t understand why the phone company sends that to her.
- 9:25 PM Mom wouldn’t allow violent video games but she allowed a racist board game, Guess Who. 48 white guys, 2 black guys, if you draw the black guy, you lose.
- 9:27 PM This guy is killing it!
- 9:27 PM Guess Who game for different races. Asian – “is your guy good at math?” “yes!”
- 9:28 PM Did Jeff Dye get enough votes? YES!
- 9:28 PM Jeff Dye voting number: 1-877-FUNNY-04
- 9:35 PM Sean Cullen is up next. Pretending he’s a giant celebrity in Canada. Mayor of Toronto giving him a sword. This is his moment.
- 9:35 PM If you don’t like his bit he will crush you. Trained by martial artists.
- 9:36 PM Excited about new James Bond movie. Sean Connery impression.
- 9:37 PM Very quiet in the theatre…..
- 9:38 PM Wants to be a James Bond villain. Australia will never have a James Bond villain because of their accent. Impression….
- 9:38 PM Australians are always on tv being enthusiastic about something dangerous.
- 9:39 PM Some people will never get to do James Bond themes. Neil Young, REM. Impressions… Bob Dylan.. impression.
- 9:40 PM Done (thank god).
- 9:44 PM Did Sean Cullen get enough votes? We have to wait for Eliza.
- 9:45 PM Eliza Shlesinger is up next. What’s funny about growing up in suburban Texas? Everything! Her father is the funniest person she knows. Father and daughter bond over comedy.
- 9:46 PM She competed in beer pong, it’s disgusting. “We rinse off the ball!” You can get meningitis.
- 9:46 PM Quarters, place change in your drink.
- 9:47 PM Co-workers who comes to work drunk. Drunk boss. Sent a 40 page blank fax because the other side was out of paper.
- 9:49 PM Another boss insisted they decorate their cubicles. “Where are your decorations?” “Where are your front teeth?!” Just leave them at home because it’s casual Fridays.
- 9:49 PM Nerds have action figures in packages. Single ladies have cats. Boss decorated with wind chimes inside.
- 9:50 PM She’s done.
- 9:55 PM There only one spot left, is it Sean Cullen or Eliza Shlesinger in the top 5? Eliza Shlesinger!
- 9:56 PM Vote for Eliza Slesinger: 1-877-FUNNY-05
- 9:58 PM Recap of the 5 finalists.
- 9:58 PM The lines are open for 2 hours or vote online at www.nbc.com.
